That’s just plainly stupid..

They should sacrifice the kid to make the cat stronger. The power of 10 combined lives of lucifer will curse every christian that’s speaking about it and they will never rest easy again. Or maybe just tell them to piss off

 Edit 1:

My first silver, I’ll sacrifice a kid from my neighbourhood to give you devil-ish powers, kind stranger!

From now on every person that you dislike will die. *(timing not specified)*

Edit 2:

For my second silver I will create a spell using the remains of a dead child *(see edit 1)*, cat piss and chilli powder. It alerts me when your enemies are in a 1 mile radius near me and I’m sure if I throw it at them they won’t have a good time.

Edit 3:
My first gold, didn’t expect that.
I will go to reddit HQ, steal my gold award and crush it to powder with the help of my good buddy Satan. Combined with silicium powder and a huge bucket of salt it holds the power of the internet.
Whoever gifted me gold will receive a 1 year boost of Karma.
*(nothing is guaranteed but your karma level will be higher than right now in one year.. probably)*

Edit 4:
*I mean it’s still the third edit but for the fourth trophy, so fuck the rules I’m basically Satans right hand.*
Third silver!
Since three is the lucky number, I’ll throw some luck your way. *Sadly, in hell luck means a dirty cumrag.*
*Want some salt with that?*

Edit 5:
Okay you can stop throwing money at me now.
*I’ll throw some money back.*
For this next recipe, combine five 100 dollar bills and all lose change you find in your house in a blender. Put it to the highest blend strength.
*Now you’ve got a broken blender, but you’ll get back a little money from the devil.*

It’s a little inside joke between me and him, we have some spells that do nothing most of the time but when they do, oh they do! Anyways, good luck with your blender!

Edit 6:
For real you guys have unlimited money? I mean I’m not complaining.
My next spell will make you be able to speak to animals. I combined dried ground up leaves from a brich tree, elephant semen and raven tears and mix them up in a bowl. I put it in the oven *(20 mins, 250 C)*, built a joint with the solid mass and smoked it while I was hanging out with Satan.

He told me that there’s Thorgy Tuesdays in hell. *The Th just added for, you know, branding purposes*.

Anyways.. You can talk to animals now.
*Just don’t expect them to respond.*

Edit 7:
Damn, this will never end haha
I’ll randomly start cursing people that donate to me since I don’t want to get expectable.


*Oh, how unlucky of the 6th silver donator, he’s gonna get cursed!*


Your curse is eternal happiness. Made by crushing cute puppies and adding tears of a sweet child and mixing it, this spell will make you happy forever.

*Sadly your brain gets used to this happiness and everything will seem stale, sorry about that. Also everybody will hate you because they know the recipe and that cute pupper didn’t deserve to die.*

Edit 8:
Omg what? Platinum? Thank you, that came unexpected *haha*

A person that’s so pretty in the heart must have something bad about them, so bad luck but even you can get a curse. *hehe*

Mix a bunch of unwashed vegan hair with with garlic powder and locally sourced olive oil. It’s not really a spell but you *have to* pour it over yourself every morning and after every shower or you’ll go to hell.

*Sorry, big fan of your kindness but you stink.*