Obviously graduating is more important but I knew since elementary school that would never be an issue, so it just didn’t really hold any weight with me. If I take a million AP classes then the question isn’t will you graduate but how much credit hours will you have in college. Meanwhile buying condoms felt like a landmark moment in my life. I remember about 6 months ago I took a friend to buy condoms and I felt happy for him, and now a friend who’s a virgin took me and expressed approval. It feels symbolic, like eventually things will play out for everyone. I was scared I wouldn’t lose my virginity for a long while, but by the start of college was my goal and it feels so surreal to be on the edge of achieving this. *why the fuck is this so important to you?* bc my harsh self judgement made it so. I felt something must be deeply wrong with me to be a virgin while being good looking with social skills and not wanting to be a virgin. Like I had some deep flaw that only I was blind to. No matter how good or bad the sex is I’ll fulfill a goal that was very important to me and gain so much confidence. I’ve learned no matter what kind of goal that I set, if I play my cards right, it can become a reality. I did not expect to have this deep moment when walking into the store but oh well here we are