I love Egyptian mythology but only recently realised how kinky those fuckers were. Even more interesting is the fact that some of the mythology could be a lesson for gays when it comes to petty rivalry. See, tops have been bottom shaming since the time of the Egyptian gods and it never ends well.

The story of the god Osiris goes that he was murdered by his brother Set, who was a typical power hungry sibling who wanted his brother’s throne. Massive ego, just wanted to have his way. Anyway, Set murders his brother Osiris and tries to get his hand on the throne.

Osiris’s wife Isis though is not having any of it. She was so cunning she ends up reassembling her dead husband and reincarnating him. She brings him back to life but only for long enough to fuck him and get knocked up. Guess she really wanted that dick but that’s one next level bitch right there.

So she gets knocked up, Osiris is dead again, she has a kid, Horus, and sets him up for the throne.

Set, the evil fuck, is not done though. When Horus is a grown man, about to take his father’s throne, Set gets him drunk and seduces him. Kinda hot. Horus, probably one of those straight curious, sexually fluid types, agrees but only if Set gives him some of his godly strength. I mean let’s face it, we’ve all done dumb shit to get that big dick energy, right?

Anyway, Set and Horus have a forbidden fuck session but Set really just wants to shame Horus. Back then, if you were a bottom you were just being used and shamed by the top who was supposed to be dominating you. I’m just a hole, use me, Sir.

But this is where it gets really kinky. Egyptians used to be really hung up about semen. So Set was gonna bareback Horus and breed him. Typical top wants to own his bottom. He tried but Horus was not gonna be his bottom bitch. He catches Set’s load just as he cums and scoops it up in his hands. Should have just given him a hand job.

Horus, used by his own uncle, goes and tells his mother. Kinda fucked up. Isis is beside herself and as we know, that bitch is crazy. She decides to jerk off her son to get his load. Yes, she actually goes there but she has a plan to get revenge.

The next morning Isis takes her son’s load and secretely slathers up some Egyptian lettuce that Set was going to eat. Fun fact: Egyptians considered lettuce to be an aphrodisiac.

Set has no idea and happily chows down his salad, juiced up with his nephew’s cum. Really? Right in front of my salad?!

This is where it gets really interesting. Both Set and Horus have to settle their beef with each other and so they get called in front of the god Thoth. Set tries to man up and shame Horus about being fucked and barebacked with his load up him. Turns out you can’t be a ruler if you’ve done the deed with another dude bro, especially not if you’ve been on the receiving end because it’s considered feminine. Not only bottom shaming but fem shaming as well. Fuck that.

Horus has the last laugh though. He knows Set has just had a mouthful of his cum for breakfast. Thoth, with his weird ass powers, summons the semen out of the two men and lo and behold, Horus’s man-juice comes out in a golden disk from Set’s forehead. Must have been some heavy duty cum.

So what happens? Seeing that Set was the one loaded up with Horus’s cum, he’s left shamed, defeated, and gets exiled. No throne for him. Leaving Horus in the clear to take his rightful place on the throne.

Moral of the story? Don’t bottom shame or you’ll be left with a mouthful of cum and no respect.