My cousin used to say if you eat a bowl of cornflakes in front of a mirror at midnight and smack your lips seven times, a figure covered in eldritch darkness will lurch from the shadows and beat you to death with his picket sign.

My cousin was a druggie loser though. Seven years ago today, he overdosed in a bathroom on some weirdo cornflakes heroin bender and somehow beat himself to death with a picket sign. Damn junkies, always leaving a mess.