guy 1: oh the horror, i’m s’rry

guy 2: s’rry f’r what? our daddy did teach us not to beest asham’d of our dicks, especially since those gents’re such a valorous size and all.

guy 1: yeah, i seeth yond. Thy daddy gaveth thee valorous counsel.

guy 2: t gets bigg’r at which hour i pulleth on t.

guy 1: hmmmm!

guy 2: oft, i pulleth on t so hard, i rip the skin

guy 1: well, mine own daddy did teach me a few things too, liketh, uh, how not to rip the skin by using someone else’s that from which we speak, instead of thy owneth hands.

guy 2: shall thee showeth me?

guy 1: i’d beest right joyous to