girl scout cookies aren’t good, they aren’t just fucking good. they are not even in the same ballpark as just “fucking good”, they are not even great, or amazing, not even fantastic. the act of consuming a girl scout cookie is the closest you will ever get to reaching true nirvana with a food item, having particles of girl scout cookie enter your sinuses is objectively better than a full course meal, i have eaten many girl scout cookies in the past, and with each cookie, i have come out a changed man. feeling the cookies sliding down my throat and into my stomach is an orgasmic experience, there have been times when i have ejaculated during the process of digesting a girl scout cookie. girl scout cookies are humanity’s greatest achievement, it’s surprising to me that girl scout cookies haven’t taken the place of currency yet. hell, we should replace everything with girl scout cookies, yes, *everything*. cars, houses, buildings, roads, trees, hell, even fossil fuel. we could just replace everything with girl scout cookies, and the world would essentially become utopia, picture a utopian communist state where everything is made out of girl scout cookies. the only job is to produce girl scout cookies to be used for building materials, fuel, and currency. everyone works at a girl scout factory, everyone is completely content and happy because of girl scout cookies, there’s no more war, famine, poverty, depression, or even anger. girl scout cookies are the way of the future, girl scout cookies are to die for. i would die for a girl scout cookie, i would physically kill myself just so that i could consume a girl scout cookie. hell, even a single crumb of a girl scout cookie, who needs a wife when you have girl scout cookies. i fuck my box of girl scout cookies three times a day, i am undergoing gender reassignment surgery tomorrow so that i can become a girl, then i will join the girl scouts for a new supply of girl scout cookies. if push comes to shove, i will not hesitate to kill someone for my girl scout cookies. hell, i would kill an entire family for some girl scout cookies. i would systematically kill off an entire bloodline if it meant that i could have more girl scout cookies, i would do it with my fucking bare hands if i had to.