I wanna talk about how my popularity URL has influenced my real life. Not like I’m internet famous or anything though—people say that I am but fame is not 10k followers on Facebook, the lamest platform, & a few viral videos. It’s just not. Nobody knows who I am.

I’ll start by saying that internet fame & popularity is something that I was not & have not seriously pursued. I think if I did pursue it seriously, I would be successful. I’m just not in a position to pursue that right now.

I began to be well known amongst some online communities for my posts that were either relatable, social commentary, problematic, or just funny. I was also involved in a lot of old internet drama back in them days.

I want to note that it’s been very positive & a lot of things I have now wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the online community I’m a part of. There are a lot of things I would have never been given. A lot of times when rent wouldn’t have been paid otherwise.

I want to note something that’s been affecting me negatively about it though: people trying to punish me or take things away from me for it out of, I hate to say it, jealousy or the simple belief that I don’t deserve it—or that they deserve it more.

Too many times have people tried to weaponize my URL popularity as a tool against me, trying to “tear me down” using the internet. It has never worked so I don’t really care about that, but a lot of times people have brought up my followers in real life as a privilege or reward that I have. They seem to resent me. They put me up on this pedestal that doesn’t exist because I have followers online—and they want to take that away. And honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I don’t even have that many. Being honest here.

I’ve been told, “everyone loves you,” as such a negative before when arguing with a small few people. There was one wight girl that seemed to hate me more & more every day & brought up my number of followers far too often & who I was internet friends with when I lived with her, reminding me that she used to have followers too, reiterating to me that her goal was to be famous for “doing nothing” one day like Paris Hilton. I hope I’m making sense here.

People blow me up to this figure that is SOOOOooOoOooOo adored & so famous when really I just have a group of people online that like me for reasons that are valid. And I put in the work for that. And a lot of the time, they feel that I don’t deserve it.

So sometimes I think that popularity is a contributing factor when people in the past have lashed out at me. I hate blaming it on jealousy but I think it’s there. It can be a very negative thing. Makes me scared to think about what ACTUAL internet famous people must face.